Inuyasha and the mailman
by pizza-eaters
Summary: Inuyasha is sent to get the mail again, when suddenly, a group of fangirls attack him! Will he survive? -dun dun dun-
1. Loverly Butts

Disclaimer- y'see we WISH we owned Inuyasha, but due to our evil bum ness of doom, we don't.

**Bob**- I'm typing up a fan fiction in a different country! And it has the same-ish beginning as another one! Yay!

**Snack**- I thought you said you were busy…

**Bob**- Of course I am… just not right now…

**Snack**- Oh.

**Bob**- Got any Peanut butter? I've been deprived for a month.

**Snack**- I hate hotdogs.

**Bob**- HOW COULD YOU?

Dun dun dun- to be continued! X)

Kagome glared at the dog-eared demon sitting on her desk in front of her.

"Could you please get off my desk, Inuyasha?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"'Cause I'm bored."

"Well, go find something to do!"  
"I've already done that!"

"Just get off my desk"

"No."

"SIT!"

"GYEAAHHH!"

The dog eared demon slammed onto the desk face first, hence, the desk broke.

"Look what you did to my desk!"  
"groan…"

"I'll never forgive you!"  
"Bleeehhhh………"

"I'm going to make you my slave forever!"  
"WHAT!"

"Go get the mail."  
"No,"

"SIT!"  
"AHHHGRUUUUGGG!"

"Take that."

"Fine. I'll get the mail, filthy bum."

"Good, go fetch the mail, there's a good puppy."

"Watch it."

The dog-eared demon trudged out the door, and was soon outside sitting on the porch.

"Heh, 'Get the mail!' she says... Like hell I will!"

His thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of the mail man. He was clothed in a sleek blue jacket, beautiful pressed dark blue pants, and a nifty looking blue hat with a black rim.

Was Inuyasha in love?

No. He just wanted to get his fangs around that mail man's butt.

Charging after the blue clothed man, Inuyasha readied his fangs for that lovely butt. The mail man glanced over in the direction of the white haired thing charging at him, and grabbed an envelope out of his bag.

"MAIL POWER!" He shouted.

Nothing happened.

Well, nothing worthy of my beautiful hands having to work to note what happened anyway.

Inuyasha raised an eyebrow and continued dashing after the mail man. The mail man turned and began running down the street screaming like a girl.

To cut things short, Inuyasha got the mail man, ripped off his butt and trotted off to a mini mall so that he could buy some nice flowers for the mail man's grave.

The Inuyasha fan girls were upon Inu-chan like a pack of wolves.

They drooled, they groveled, and they attacked his ears!

After five minutes of being painfully worshipped, Inuyasha collapsed on to the ground dead.

The fan girls stared in horror for a minute, and dashed off after another hot Bishonen that had just conveniently walked by.

 To be continued! LYKE OMFG 2 B kontinude!11

**Bob**- So what do you think? Is it stupid? Or is it stupid?

**Snack**- It's stupid.

**Cheese**- Yup! I'm going to listen to music now.

**Bob**- I'm going to go draw now.

**Snack**- I'm going to go eat now.

**Bnana**- WHERES KOGA!

**Bob**- He's in the next chapter.

**Bnana**- Really?

**Bob**- No.


	2. The outcome

Disclaimer- If we owned Inuyasha then we wouldn't be writing this now would we? (Actually, only Bob is writing this one)

**Bob**- The hating of Hotdogs is strictly forbidden. Pork is a vegetable, yo.

**Snack**- No its not.

**Bob**- Too bad, it is now. I'm going to go draw now.

**Snack**- Aren't you writing a fan fiction?

**Bob**- Oh! I guess I am, aren't I?

**Snack**- --

**Bob**- I had a pizza for lunch.

What did Snack have for lunch? To be continued! X)

According to some witnesses, Inuyasha had been killed due to over-worshiping by a local group of fan girls. These fan girls, were now on the run with a particularly hot Bishonen, whose name I shall not bother to type.

Inuyasha, on the other hand, was currently lying in a wooden coffin, and was about to be buried.

Kagome was sitting by the coffin, holding a knife. She looked at the knife, at Inuyasha, back at the knife again, and then realized she was thirsty. So, she trotted off to look for some orange juice.

Then the pancake came. It was huge, like a big round flat ball of doom. It was evil, it was horrid, it was hungry.

So, seeing that there were no living things around, it flew off in the direction of a local K-Smart.

Suddenly, a demon and a sorceress popped out of nowhere, these two were of course, Bob and Snack, the evil doers and ramen obsessors of this beautifully written fan fiction. Bob trotted over to Inuyasha and began poking it. Snack carefully walked over and looked into the coffin, she cringed at the sight.

"Eww… It's dead."

"I love dead things, they're so… dead. Dead things are cool."

"Can I mummify it?"

"No, you only get to do that in Fan fictions that involve turkey."

"Drat."

"Did you know that mummified pizza tastes like chicken?"

"No."

"Good, because it's not true."

"Okay then… So, what do we do with Inuyasha?"  
"Well, we could cremate him, or… cremate him… Oh! We could cremate him after we put him through a defenestration… We could set him on fire…. We could burn him….."

Suddenly, Kagome walked into the room holding a cup of apple juice, they were out of orange.

"Hey! What are you doing to Inuyasha?" Kagome yelled at the duo.

Bob took the honor of replying, "We were wondering how to cremate him. Defenestration or no Defenestration?"

Snack shrugged, and pulled out a s'more. She sat down on a conveniently located rock and watched the argument.

"We're going to bury him! Not set him on fire!"

"No, Lets bury his ashes, meaning we burn him after throwing him out a window!"  
"We're not going to throw him out the window!"  
"Then we'll set him on fire!"  
"No."

"Yes."

"Sit!"

"That won't work."

"Drat."

"NYEAH!"

"WAHAHAHAHAHHHH!"

Snack had grown tired of the argument, and finished her s'more. So, jumping up, she waved her arms frantically "Listen, we'll defenestrate him then give him a good burial!"

"Why should we do that?" asked Bob.

"Because it's a compromise."

"What's a compromise?"

Snack stared in disbelief at Bob, and pulled a shiny object out of her pocket. She then walked off in the direction of the all hailed shiny store. Bob shrugged and walked off towards a ramen stand, where she bought 46 bowls of oriental ramen and a small cola.

Kagome looked down at the dog hanyou in the coffin; she picked up the knife from where she had set it, and began looking back and forth from the knife to Inuyasha.

Eventually, through much brain hurting and all that jazz, Kagome decided that this was hurting her small brain too much, and stabbed the knife through her heart.

Or at least, she tried too.

Due to an unfortunate wave of dizziness, she accidentally lifted the knife and slashed off her left ear.

This left no work for the evil flying pancake that was hovering overhead. It didn't have to even chop off an ear!

The evil pancake of doom swooped down and devoured Kagome in one gigantic flap jack bite.

The only witness to this scene was a house fly who had just flown by, looking for a house-fly address in a house fly world.

By the way, this house fly's name was Fred.

He was gay, but we don't care about that. He was a COOL gay house fly, who was promptly eaten by an inconveniently located frog named Joe who was run over by a cement truck. This frog's funeral was hosted by a vegetarian crocodile that lived in Alaska; one day, this crocodile spontaneously combusted, leaving behind no witnesses of this crime.

 Dude, the tale of Joe the frog who ate the cool gay fly Fred will SO be continued.

**Bob**- I miss Fred already, he was such a cool gay house fly.

**Snack**- I like Shiny.

**Bob**- I like Ramen.

**Snack**- I'm hungry.

**Bob**- I'm not.

**Snack**- I want food.

**Bob**- the ramen stand is closed… I love violent stories.

**Snack**- This conversation will be violent unless you get me something to eat.

**Bob**- What if I don't want to get you something to eat? What if I'm a lazy bum? EH?


End file.
